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As opposed to what? The bizarre world of school mission statements

Teaching staff
I’ve nicked most of these phrases from several recent Academy prospectuses. Rearrange them in any way you want and they’ll still be bereft of all meaning...

Yikes. As opposed to what? Lumpen mediocrity? Don’t ask. Onwards. “The Leadership Group are aspirational, inspirational, visionary and cohere the empathy of Jesus, the patience of Buddha and the intellect of Dante.”

Blimey! Onwards. “And our classroom facilitators have both a deep subject knowledge and high expectations.”

As opposed to what? A shallow ignorance and low expectations? Onwards. “They deliver a significant learning journey that can be best achieved in the context of exemplary professional relationships that comprehend time, context, emotional wellbeing matched by appropriate ambition.”

Read that again. I know.

“We offer world class learning communities for the 21st century Knowledge Economy.” 

Heaven forfend! 

“We believe in educating the Whole Child.” What? All of Dave Mania? I failed with most of him. 

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