At the chalkface: Detrimental behaviour

The number of school expulsions has fallen in the last decade. Well, we can’t have that. Time for a new wheeze, which makes it easier to expel more of the blighters. Some sneaky “new guidance”, whereby your more naughty/less happy inmates can be more easily binned, excised, excommunicated, permanently excluded, if their behaviour causes “serious harm” or is merely “detrimental” to the class. This will facilitate more focus on “teaching and inspiring our next generation”, says charismatic Nicky “Gove-Lite” Morgan.

Well, rather. “Serious harm” is seriously wrong. I can still recall those agents of infant chaos, Dave Mania or Decibelle Trauma at full throttle. “Serious harm”? They could shred a lesson at a stroke. Nearly mine once. I took to the pills. They were forcefields of disorder, forest fires of disobedience. Expulsion? It was not enough. I wanted medieval measures to be visited on their persons – stocks or incarceration in a terrifically illiberal loony bin.