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At the chalkface: Photo oops!

Teaching staff
Crash lives in a big estate. His father builds houses, which he’ll never afford. His mother’s an NHS nurse, soon to be sacked. His hobbies are being terrifically angry, kick-boxing, steam trains, and fishing in the toxic waters of the Grand Union Canal –

“All quiet, LK?”

“Yes, sir. Cool, sir.”

We’re under heavy manners from management to look good for the cameras. I’ve shaved close and they’ve scrubbed up. Amy and Gina have had highlights. We’ve had to cleanse the class of our more volatile and less telegenic scamps. Dave Mania, Decibelle and Shaka have been put on gardening leave.

But we can’t entirely excise the ugly truths of a Not Top 9th year. A few wild cards remain. Like LK. Like “Crash” Perkins. There he is at the back – his hair’s a Mohican, his tie’s ironic, his tattoos visible, and his English book quite bereft of work.

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