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At the chalkface: Speechifying

Teaching staff
"Altitude is attitude,” she says cryptically. Or is it vice-versa? Are we back with the angels? Who knows? The poor pupils are bamboozled.

“Angels get to heaven because they travel light.”

A headteacher is musing to her flock. There are no angels. This is magical thinking. Still, she is finding herself fascinating. The children less so.

“You’re probably wondering why.” Nope. Not really. No luggage? No baggage? The children aren’t wondering anything much. She ploughs on. They turn off. Some staff stifle giggles and construct their faces into rictuses of attention.

Yes, it’s the time for the Annual Address. The tonic for the troops. Have you had yours yet? It’s meant to be aspirational, inspirational and motivational. It’s frequently rather the opposite. Few do them well. Few should do them at all.

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