At the chalkface: Sweating the small stuff

You peddle through the autumn mists to be in school by dawn. You’ve got to be really on it for these six weeks. You’re spruce, scrubbed, shaved and sharp. You check your pigeon-hole for covers and gibberish, run off a million worksheets, grab a yard of black coffee, go to your classroom, check the finely honed seating plan is in place, the foliage is blooming, the IT is up and purring, 150 exercise books for the day are forensically marked – and there are 30 copies of Greek Myths. You can’t be too prepared.

Here they come, my stampeding 7th year! “Walk! Line up!’ A straight line. Good. Silence. Pause. Pins drop. “Good Morning!” “Good Morning, sir/miss!” “You may enter.” They do. Stand silent at desks. Satchels on floor. Check for sartorial peccadilloes – QPR scarves, dodgy hats, spider tattoos or illegal trainers. “Please sit down! Pens out!” No pen? “Detention.” Be clear. Be fierce. Boundaries. An idle whisper. Stop. Stare. Glare. Silence. Right! PowerPoints. Aims. Objectives. All nonsense.