Over nine million people in the UK – almost a fifth of the population – say they are always or often lonely, while research has shown that social isolation can be harmful to health. Lacking social connections is as much a risk factor for early death as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, while loneliness has been found to increase the likelihood of mortality by 26 per cent.
In order to combat this, chief executive of London Early Years Foundation (LEYF) June O’Sullivan believes nurseries should act as ‘community catalysts’ for engagement between different people living near each other.
‘Loneliness and isolation are reaching epidemic levels. In our small world, we can open up our doors to the community, create opportunities, open networks and build bridges between people,’ she explains.
‘People often think of isolation as being on your own. In fact, you can feel isolated within a group, while people who live alone can still have a lot of friends. It’s more about not knowing where to go.
‘Nurseries have an obligation to understand, help and engage with the neighbourhood they are part of and in which their children grow up.’
Isolation is often thought to predominantly affect the elderly, and it is true that 3.6 million older people in the UK are believed to live alone, while 1.9 million say they often feel ignored or invisible.
Norma Raynes, executive director of From Generation to Generation, a charity aiming to bridge the gap between young and old, says nurseries must ‘lead the stampede’ in reducing loneliness among the elderly.
‘Older people, far from being a terrible burden, are in fact the most extraordinary resource waiting to be asked to do something to make life better, not only for ourselves but for our kids and our grandchildren.
‘There are 11.8 million of us sitting there, waiting to be asked to do something useful. In a month, more than a million of us have spoken to absolutely nobody.
‘What a waste of that resource, what a contribution to mental health problems. My solution is to get down there in your local neighbourhood and bring people together in one place and one space.’
Projects across the country uniting generations, from co-located nurseries to children visiting local care homes, have been popular and well-documented (see Case study, opposite). However, older people are not the only demographic facing social isolation, as Ms O’Sullivan points out. ‘As well as a multi-generational approach, early years settings should consider other groups who may be at risk of isolation.
‘Of course, old people are very vulnerable to loneliness, but there are also teenagers who feel lost, young mums, people in their fifties whose children have left home, families from other cities or overseas, or where one partner works away a lot.’
CHILDREN AND THE COMMUNITY
A child and teenage mentor playing with a puppet at Henry Fawcett nursery
Engaging with all members of the community to help alleviate isolation is something that should be built into every setting, Ms O’Sullivan believes.
‘Getting out and about in the community should not be a treat or a project but part of the way you operate,’ she says. ‘It can be hard for new staff to get used to, especially at the moment, with high turnover, and there is a tendency to see everything through the lens of health and safety.
‘It is easy to hide behind a DBS check, sometimes out of laziness and sometimes out of fear, or sometimes just because you don’t know where to start. But if it is going to work, it has to be a part of you, not an additional extra.’
Furthermore, Ms O’Sullivan says, fighting to prevent loneliness in the community can provide welcome, and sometimes unexpected, benefits for nurseries too.
When LEYF’s Moss Gate Nursery in Dagenham was vandalised, managers discovered the culprit was a teenager from the local area.
Ms O’Sullivan explains, ‘His mum dragged him in to apologise and we asked him to stay to see more of the nursery. We found out that he had felt isolated and had vandalised the setting to become part of a gang. If he had had a group of friends that he had felt part of, he wouldn’t have done it. He ended up becoming an apprentice, and now he’s our “local champion” for the nursery. It’s a risky model, but it works for us.’
She adds, ‘From a cynical point of view, we have a recruitment problem in the sector, and the more you know people in your community, the more people tell you they know someone who could do this, or help with that.
‘In turn, they start to realise that you are not just somewhere that mums drop off their children, but a part of the community, with a social function and impact.’
Case study:
Teens and Toddlers
Non-profit organisation Power2 runs the Teens and Toddlers programme in London, the North West and the Midlands, with weekly sessions delivered in nursery settings pairing teenagers with a mentee aged between three and five.
Each week, the teenagers help with play and learning, take part in group discussions and complete written work to gain a Level 1 National Award qualification in Interpersonal Skills.
Programme lead Hannah Goreing explains, ‘I think we’ve seen an increase in mental health issues in young people in recent years. Loneliness and isolation are likely to be increased by youth services closing down, and where schools and social services are understaffed or under-resourced, they are less able to offer targeted support to students who are struggling.’
The programme often specifically targets teens who have been excluded or have dropped out of mainstream schools, many of whom rarely leave their houses and are disengaged from education and isolated from their peers.
‘Teens and Toddlers gives them a chance to come together in a group and gain a sense of responsibility in a safe and supportive environment,’ says Ms Goreing. Students have gone on to achieve GCSEs, attend college, and even study childcare.
Ms Goreing adds that nursery practitioners have a vital role to play in reducing any feelings of isolation or discomfort in the teenagers participating.
‘Praise and recognition from nursery staff can be hugely valuable to a teenager – a professional recognises they’re doing a good job! Some of the teens may be interested in working with children in the future, and nursery staff can share their own experiences as well as information like which college courses to apply for, or ways to find work experience.’
The scheme can help both age groups, Ms Goreing says. ‘The nursery child looks up to their teenage mentor and sees them as a role model, which makes the teenager feel more confident and gives them a sense of self-worth.
‘A student with low literacy can still read a picturebook to a child, and the child will love the attention and admire the teen’s ability to read even if the teen doesn’t get every word correct.
‘In return, the teens definitely help the children to be less isolated. Our teenagers often mentor children who are very shy and withdrawn, who have speech and language difficulties, or who speak very little English. We see in every project that having one-to-one attention and support from a teenage mentor really helps children’s confidence and communication skills. Children who struggled to make friends or speak with their peers become more able to build friendships, and feel more part of the nursery community.’
Teenage mentors have proved to be a success at Henry Fawcett
June O’Sullivan, who works with Teens and Toddlers at four LEYF nursery settings, including Henry Fawcett Community Nursery in Kennington, south London, agrees the programme has huge benefits. ‘The children love the sessions. They have natural, spontaneous joie de vivre, especially when they have guests and are the hosts on their own turf. We do notice some of the quieter children take a little bit longer to warm up, but they can also be some of the most empathetic towards the teenagers, especially those who are quiet as well.’
Some of the teenagers have even been taken on by LEYF as apprentices.
PARENTAL ISOLATION
A teenage mentor reads to a child at Henry Fawcett
Research by Coram Family and Childcare has found that over half of parents with children under five experienced loneliness at least some of the time, with twice as many parents on the lowest incomes saying they often felt isolated as parents on the highest earnings.
Loneliness is most prevalent around the birth of a baby, particularly if the mother or baby has health problems and is unable to get out of the house easily, as well as when the child is older but before they have started school.
Claire Harding, head of Coram Family and Childcare, says, ‘Statistically, it does seem to be worse for the groups you would expect it to be worse for; parents on lower incomes and young parents. Of course, fewer people are having their children young now, but that probably makes it harder for those who do.’
Ms Harding says there is not a lack of activities for families as much as a lack of accessibility.
‘It’s more that the activities on offer are in the wrong place. Outside London, it might take two buses to get to the Children’s Centre, and you have to pay separately for each bus. If you bring your five-year-old with you as well, then you have to pay for them, and if you’re feeling a bit vulnerable because you’re a new mum and you want to bring your own mum, you’ve got to pay for her too, and suddenly we’re talking north of 20 quid to go to rhyme time.’
She adds, ‘There are also lots of problems with disability and access, which are so frustrating because they could be fixed. One mum in London told us that her child is autistic and has very little sense of danger. Their local library used to have doors which you had to push, but then they moved to automatic doors, so they couldn’t go to that library any more. That’s a fixable problem. Someone could just stand by the doors to stop the child from running out.’
Focus groups also report finding family activities ‘cliquey’, says Ms Harding.
‘So many people walk in, everyone is already talking to each other, and they turn around and walk straight out again. But once they make that first friend, that first connection, it is fine.’
Ms Harding urges more effort be put into supporting parents to help each other at these potentially isolating stages of life.
‘Very rightly, as a society over the last 30 years we have emphasised the paramount importance of child well-being, and we have made parents responsible for that. But what we are seeing is that the amount of childcare being done by dads in the last few generations has been going up, while the amount of childcare being done by mums has too.
‘The way we parent is now very much more intense, and there are good things about this, but there is also a very big risk that we stop parents from thinking about themselves, because we insist that all their mental energy, mental capital and social energy must be spent on their child.
‘That is doing parents, and all of us, a disservice. One of the most important determiners of how well a child will do is the mental health of the parents and, actually, we should be talking a little bit less about children and a little bit more about parents.’ (See Case study, below left.)
FAR FROM HOME
Immigrant, asylum-seeker and refugee parents, even after setting up home in a new country, can still find it difficult to know where to go to build social connections.
Monica Poulter, teacher development manager at Cambridge Assessment English, has written a paper on refugee access to early years care.
She explains, ‘In their own country, women with young children would have the support of a wider family network, and the lack of this support is keenly felt when they move. Especially for those who don’t have a high level of English, it is difficult to find employment, so a lot of time is spent in the home. A low level of English also makes it difficult for mothers to engage in social chitchat with neighbours or other mothers, for example when dropping children off at school.
‘Availability of housing is also problematic, so refugee families may not be housed in the same area of a town or city as other families, and bus fares are expensive, so even if there are other mothers from the same country living in the same area, it may not be possible to socialise.’
She says that while some early years providers have devised ways of including refugee parents in activities in or outside the nursery, there could still be more work done to support this group.
‘It would be great if good practice in the early years sector, as identified in our report, could be shared, for example, through training by early years associations, and if the sector could encourage befriending of refugees by other mothers in the community; for example, going together to the park or to free activities such as rhyme time in the local library on non-nursery days,’ she explains. (See Case study, below.)
Case study: Muddy Boots, Bristol
Muddy Boots Day Nursery in Bristol (above) has been running visits to the residents at local Stokeleigh Care Home for almost two years. Groups of four children walk over to the home every two weeks, while residents return to visit them every other week too.
Established through Alive, a charity for older people in care, the visits include a variety of shared activities – for example, cooking sessions and exercise classes.
Nursery manager Jenna Carroll says the nursery leaped at the chance to set up links with the home. ‘It was really the done thing at the time,’ she says.
‘There had been a few programmes on TV about the benefits of visits, and the home was just over the road, so we thought we should give it a shot. We just knew we wanted to plan things because if it was going to be done, we wanted it to be done well.’
The nursery worked with Alive to arrange activities, but as time went on Ms Carroll noticed that the children and residents were happy just spending time with each other.
‘There are times for activities, but there are lots of times when just being there is enough,’ she explains. ‘Often they just read stories together and the children sit on the adults’ knees. It doesn’t take huge effort but they all seem to benefit.’
Three of the women who take part regularly have dementia, but Ms Carroll says they often remember their trips to the nursery and understand what the visits mean.
‘It definitely helps them to feel they have little friends who come to visit,’ she explains. ‘We always call them “our friends” or “other people’s grannies and grandads” to steer away from calling them “old people”.’
She adds, ‘We had some interesting debates between staff, with a few feeling that there was a benefit to the adults but were concerned it didn’t give enough to the children. But our view is that for the children, it provides key learning experiences. They deal with issues like illness and even death, and most importantly they learn about their community.’
The setting is based in the grounds of Trinity College, and as a result of the nursery’s connection with the care home, the college choir now also visits the residents to sing songs with them. ‘We like the children to be part of the college community, and now thanks to our links with Stokeleigh, the college is going out into the community too. It all goes in a big loop,’ Ms Carroll says.
‘The visits are such a nice thing, and children do achieve learning outcomes from them, but at the same time we question whether we really need a specific learning outcome every time. Sometimes just loving people around us is a learning outcome in itself.’
Case study: young mothers
Bonnie Arnold (pictured front right) was 21 when her first child was born and 25 when she had her second. With her first son, she was able to attend Sure Start centres in Wolverhampton, but when her daughter was born four years later they had shut down, and there were no other activities in the area. She also lost her father shortly after the birth of her second child.
‘I had great support from my mum, but my sister lives in Wales and it was very difficult to integrate at that hard time because nothing was available,’ she says. ‘I can’t drive, so by the time I travelled to activities with a newborn, it often wasn’t worth it.
‘It was quite scary and daunting feeling so alone. Feeling that you’ve got nowhere to go is not nice.’
Once her daughter turned two she was able to access funded nursery places, and Bonnie did a Coram Family and Childcare Parent Champion course run by Wolverhampton City Council. Champions are parent volunteers who spend a few hours a week talking to other mothers and fathers about local services, in order to help ‘hard to reach’ families who might otherwise miss out on information.
‘I wanted to build my confidence back up,’ she says. ‘I’d lost everything; I was like a shell with nothing on the inside.’
The eight-week course enabled her to connect with other parents and feel less isolated. ‘I wanted to give something back and integrate myself back into the community. Each week it was like I was finding a piece of myself again, meeting other parents like me.’
Parent Champion sessions provide parents with one-to-one peer support for any issues they might have, from moving into the area and wanting help registering with a doctor to simply needing a coffee together to offload.
Bonnie has since set up her own stay-and-play activity in a space provided for free by the council.
‘We have had a full house every week. It’s been amazing to give back to the community and let new parents know they have a place to come to and they are not alone. I’ve turned my negative experience into a positive.
‘Over the past year I’ve been really uplifted. I don’t feel like the person I was before. I don’t even feel like a volunteer, I feel like a professional.’
She says isolation can affect the whole family. ‘You can develop a nice home for children, but without a wider environment for them to flourish in, they’re going to lack socialisation skills that they will need later. Even a stay-and-play session once a week makes a world of difference. It is about building up confidence, both for parents and for children.’
Case study: refugees and asylum seekers
Artwork from a Leicester project
Royal Spa Nursery School, Brighton was the first nursery to become accredited as a School of Sanctuary.
Colleen Molloy of the City of Sanctuary national charity, which oversees the Schools of Sanctuary programme, says the award recognises a setting as ‘being a place of sanctuary providing welcome and inclusion to people seeking asylum or refugees, providing a welcome to all and making a significant contribution to reducing loneliness among vulnerable parents’.
Royal Spa has trained staff to raise awareness of refugees and asylum seekers and displays a ‘Refugees are Welcome Here’ poster in the foyer. It holds a cultural event each term, such as a ‘celebration of light’ lantern walk through the grounds. A refugee father from Syria played live music at a recent event, and all families were encouraged to share food after the walk.
As part of the Schools of Sanctuary programme, the nursery works closely with the local council’s Ethnic Minority Achievement Service (EMAS), enlisting the help of a bilingual officer to help settle a traumatised girl happily in the nursery. Her mother is due to volunteer with the setting on completion of her English-language course.
Royal Spa's refugee persona doll
The nursery also runs an ongoing project using a persona doll who is a refugee from Afghanistan. Children have helped to create stories about safety and welcome and, with the help of books such as Oliver Jeffers’ Lost and Found, have compiled a welcome booklet with words and ideas on how to make someone feel welcome, which is shared with new families when they arrive at the setting.
As a result of parental feedback, the nursery now offers a bilingual coffee morning every half-term for families to meet each other. A book listing support organisations is available for any families who may need signposting to extra services. A bilingual library in the setting offers books in a range of languages for children to enjoy at nursery or take home with them. Staff also use language maps and lists of key words in all the languages spoken by children at the nursery to help with communication and understanding.
Mary Ellinger, head teacher at the Royal Spa Nursery School, says, ‘We got involved in the project because we are passionate about inclusion and equality of opportunity for all our families. We understand about taking the extra steps to ensure everyone feels welcome and can trust us. Starting from a position of kindness, we can see how the well-being of newly-arrived children and families is nurtured.’
Ms Molloy explains, ‘The programme breaks down fear and prejudice, creates relationships of solidarity and allows friendships to flourish. The key principle is networking, a really valuable strategic tool for growing a culture of welcome.’
MORE INFORMATION
www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/lonelinessbriefing
www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/article/over-half-of-parents-of-young-children-feel-lonely
www.languagesciences.cam.ac.uk/policy/uk-refugee-accesss-to-ecec