It is often said that what the child whose parents have separated needs to know is that, irrespective of the parents' feelings for each other, they have and can expect to have in the future, each parent's enduring love.
Fear and upset at the loss of love are fundamental emotions that we all share. When parents are in the midst of a separation they have to deal with their own disappointment, rage and grief at the end of what was once a loving relationship. That reminder, as adults, of early childhood feelings of loss, makes it particularly difficult for parents to cope with the thought of the young child's feelings around the time of separation.
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