Unfortunately, the attitude some children have developed from their experiences is not 'can do', but 'I can't'. Researchers call this learned helplessness, first identified in animals who were put in unpleasant situations over which they had no control and then later made no attempts to help themselves even when they could have escaped.
Learned helplessness in people can begin very early in life if children cannot see any effect of their actions on their environment. An important aspect of the child's experiences - both with the physical world and with other people - is contingency, which is the child perceiving that things happen in direct relation to the child's actions. In extreme cases, learned helplessness results from neglect or caregivers who do not respond in a contingent way to a child's signals and activity. In effect, a child stops trying because experience has taught them that their actions will not be effective.
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