The prospect of moving house can be an exciting experience for some children, living in a different home and making new friends. For others, however, it is a time of anxiety, especially when the move takes them far from the comfort of the home they know and the security of their friends and family. Their worries vary from the loss of a favourite toy on the journey to an overwhelming fear of the unknown. Early years practitioners need to be on hand to support them through this difficult life-changing experience.
IN CONVERSATION
- - If you hear a child voicing concerns about a recent or impending house move, talk to their parents to find out more about how the child might be feeling.
- - Try to create a relaxed, homely atmosphere in the home corner and spend time there with the child, either sharing books about moving house (see box) or offering reassurance if they want to talk about their concerns.
- - When sharing stories with the child or a small group, make links between what happens to the main character and the children's own experiences. Encourage them to discuss their experiences and voice their feelings.
- - Talk about the actual process of moving, picking up on any comments from children that may provide clues as to their anxieties about moving. For instance, explain to a child who worries about toys going astray that removal people always make sure that belongings arrive at the new house safely by packing them in secure labelled boxes. Emphasise that a favourite toy or pet can always travel with its owner.
- - Discuss with children who worry about leaving friends and family how they can always find ways of keeping in touch, such as by sending e-mails or letters, or speaking on the telephone.
AT BUSY BEARS
Busy Bears Nursery in Durham found themselves in this situation recently when several children were moving house at the same time. As expected, some approached the move with excitement while others showed much apprehension.
Staff decided to help them work through their anxieties using role play. They began by asking the children about their possessions and where they kept them, which led to discussion about bedrooms and what the children were going to have in their new bedrooms.
Together, staff and children decided to create a bedroom in a 'new house', with all the items that the children felt were essential, such as comfort objects, a night light, books, music and somewhere to keep their clothes and toys.
The children drew their own plans of their bedrooms at home, which were then annotated and displayed in the bedroom they had created. They chose colours for drapes, wall coverings and bedding. Parents brought in photographs of the children's bedrooms, some before moving and some in their new houses. The children referred to these pictures when making a list of what to include in the role-play bedroom.
Hayley West, head of Little Bumbles at Busy Bears Nursery, was involved in setting up the role-play bedroom. She says, 'All of the children loved the bedroom we had created together. It was satisfying to observe how those involved in a house move overcame their insecurities as they shared their thoughts and experiences with friends and special carers in this secure environment. We feel that imaginative play has greatly increased throughout the nursery as a consequence of acting out real life experiences.'
OVERCOMING ANXIETIES
If necessary, practitioners can build on the role-play bedroom to provide further reassurance to children about moving house. Play activities could include the following.
Packing and unpacking boxes
Children who worry about losing possessions during the move might enjoy packing toys into a box and transporting it to the role-play bedroom to unpack and reassure themselves that nothing has gone astray. Provide lots of cardboard boxes, tape and mark-making materials so that children can ensure that their possessions are securely packed and labelled.
Comfort toys
Play out scenarios about transporting comfort toys and blankets in a special bag to the new house to allay children's anxieties about losing these items. Read stories about losing toys and finding them again, such as Dogger by Shirley Hughes (Red Fox), and Where, Oh Where is Kipper's Bear? by Mick Inkpen (Hodder Children's Books).
Going to bed routines
Children who fear going to bed in the new house might enjoy acting out their familiar bedtime routine in the role-play bedroom. Provide large nightclothes to put over clothes, and invite the children to bring in favourite comfort toys or blankets. Join the children in their play to encourage them to express feelings through conversation.
Making friends
Encourage children who are anxious about losing friends to have pretend sleepover parties in the role-play bedroom to welcome their new ones. Provide sleeping bags and overnight bags.
LINKS TO THE EYFS
- Responding to significant experiences, showing a range of feelings when appropriate
- Using language to imagine and recreate roles and experiences
- Using developing mathematical ideas and methods to solve practical problems
- Finding out about past and present events in their own lives, and in those of their families and other people they know
- Using a range of small and large equipment
- Using their imagination in art and design, music, dance, imaginative and role play and stories
BOOKS
Moving Molly by Shirley Hughes (Red Fox). Molly is pleased at first when they move into a house with fields behind it, but soon she starts to miss the passers-by in their old busy street. Then she discovers that the next-door garden is full of adventure.
The Berenstain Bears' Moving Day by Stan and Jan Berenstain (Berenstain Bears First Time books, Random House). The bears decide it's time to move into a bigger house.
Moving House by Anna Civardi and Stephen Cartwright (First Experiences series, Usborne)
Moving House by Rebecca Hunter (First Times series, Evans Brothers)