When it comes to social development, two-year-olds often get a bad press. We are often told how they cannot share or play together. While there is some truth in this, the picture is actually more complex.
A good starting point when looking at two-year-olds' social development is to recognise that most two-year-olds, indeed most humans, are designed to be social creatures. In the adult world, true 'loners' are an exception which is why their behaviour is commented upon. Having said this, two-year-olds are still developing their social skills and understanding of other children and this journey will, of course, have its bumpy moments.
DEVELOPMENT MATTERS
There are several factors involved in a child's social development which means that while we might find that there are some characteristics that two-year-olds share, there will also be many differences. It is worth exploring these in order to work out how best to support each child.
First, we have to consider children's age. The term 'two-year-olds' is in some ways not helpful as in terms of development, a lot can happen in 11 or so months. While at the start of this period, many children will engage in frequent 'snatch-and-grab' raids on others' possessions, it is interesting to see that often when children are closer to being three, the number of these incidents declines. This is because children start to learn how to share and also gain more understanding of ownership of possessions.
Over the course of the year, this development is also reflected in the interest that children show in each other. At first there tends to be plenty of eye contact with some spontaneous interactions. Two or more children will often model each other's movements in moments of quite delightful complicity.
These moments often occur away from the adult gaze. Sometimes they can be quite fleeting but at other times, they can extend over many minutes. The latter, in my experience, often involve 'illegal' acts such as scribbling on walls or dropping cubes into a fish tank! Interestingly, such moments require children to be attuned to each other's gestures and facial expressions. Over the year, the frequency and extent of these shared moments increases helped along by children's developing language. This means that most children by three are well on the way to playing co-operatively.
IMPULSIVITY
While we will see sociability in this year, we will also see that two-year-olds are impulsive. This impulsiveness often gets in the way of their play with others. It can lead to tussles, squabbles and bites. Such behaviours are not planned; they are done on the spur of the moment. 'I see, I want, I take' is often how young two-year-olds operate and this may include taking something from another's hand or pushing another child out of the way.
It is essential that we recognise this impulsivity as developmental and work with it. There is little point in giving two-year-olds lectures about morality. Interestingly, this impulsiveness seems to wane once children's are closer to three and talking well.
EXPERIENCE MATTERS
In addition to patterns of children's development there are also other things to factor in. One of these is children's social experiences to date. These often start out with the immediate family. Children who are lucky enough to have experienced consistently warm interactions and play may have a head start. They may have learnt that being with others is pleasurable.
Children at two years will also have had differing experiences of being with other children. Some children are part of a large family, while others may have attended a variety of toddler gatherings. We must not forget either that many children have grown up with children of a similar age as part of daycare provision or at childminders.
Providing these early experiences have been positive, children are likely to have learnt some of the basic rules about 'give and take' in social situations, although few two-year-olds will have understood the concept of ownership of possessions. They may also have developed early friendships.
On the other hand, for children who are new to being in the midst of other children, there can be varying reactions - from getting stuck in and being at the centre of the action to children who literally tiptoe around the edges, looking for a quieter life.
TEMPERAMENT
Finally, another element that needs to be factored in is temperament. While it is still not clear to what extent temperament is affected by environment or genetic factors, most people working with children would agree that temperaments play a part. Some children seem to be more outward and so are quick to engage with other children. They may smile readily when children approach. Others may be more reserved, preferring to bide their time and work out the 'who's who' of the situation.
While we should be careful of using labels such as 'shy' or 'extrovert', it is worth thinking about temperament especially when children first join us. It is also something that we need to be sensitive to when supporting children. Forcing them to join with other children before they feel ready can backfire.
SUPPORTING CHILDREN'S SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
So, how can we support two-year-olds' social development, given that they may have very different needs and temperaments? A good place to begin is our relationship with them.
However confident and outgoing children are, they will always need a safe base, and when we look at most young two-year-olds, they tend to hover and stay in range of 'their' adult. This is why using the adult-child ratios to their full effect for this age group is so important if you are working in group care. A strong key person relationship also allows us to recognise the warning signs that a child is not at ease, tired or wants to pull away from the others.
ENVIRONMENTS
The environment and routines that we create are also important in supporting children's social development. If we recognise, for example, that some children are happiest when they are only with one or two other children, we need to create small areas that allow for this. This should extend also to the way we organise snack and meal times, with children having the possibility of sitting in small groups rather than in dinner party format.
It is also important to ensure that there are sufficient numbers of the 'same' resources available as children not only have similar play interests, but as we have seen they often model each other's actions. Once one child starts posting cars down a tube, others are likely to want to join in too. In these moments, quick action by adults is required so that cars are discreetly made available. A decision also has to be made as to whether to interact with children at this point. This can sometimes change the dynamics and interrupt play.
There are also some resources that seem to allow two-year-olds to play easily side by side and may encourage outbreaks of shared fun. Sand, gloop and water are great favourites, but they often work well when they are provided over a sufficiently wide surface area to prevent crowding. Expect that children will often want to transport these materials and this might be the basis of shared play.
BALANCE OF PLAY AND OTHER ACTIVITY
While play can act as a springboard for social activity for this age group, it is not the only one. Being with adults is important too. Adults often help children because they provide some structure and also model social interactions. Little tasks carried out with one or two others such as watering plants can help children to enjoy each other's company. In the same way, two or three children often cuddle up when sharing a story with an adult.
CHALLENGES
The path towards learning social skills is not smooth and so it is worth thinking through some of the challenges.
Mixed-age groups
There are many advantages of having two-year-olds alongside older children. One advantage is that older children who now have more experience and skill in social situations are great playmates for younger ones. Two-year-olds often benefit from their presence and learn from them.
The downside, though, can be the very different play interests that they have. This can lead to conflict. Even the most placid four-year-old can become frustrated when for the third time, a carefully constructed house has been knocked over by a two-year-old. A balance might need to be struck whereby at times, older children can have some time alone.
Retreats
Children like adults can become weary of being with others. While two-year-olds can be sociable, it is not fair to expect them to be sociable for hours on end. This can provide us with a challenge especially where children are with us for eight or more hours at a time.
In terms of layout and also routine, it is important that we think about how we can provide for quiet retreats for children who, because of tiredness, may need to stand back or play alone.
Managing the tussles
Where two-year-olds are together, there are inevitably going to be tussles, the odd snatch and hopefully only occasional gouge. Our response should not be punitive as impulsivity, lack of language and sometimes tiredness are the most likely causes.
Engaging children in different activities and simply 'moving on' is probably the best approach. However, it is worth thinking about whether there are certain times of day or particular combinations of children that seem to result in more incidents and if a more proactive stance might be needed.
TWO-YEAR-OLD PROGRAMME
Funding for the free two-year-old places in England is, of course, aimed at children who it is thought might need more support. While we have looked at children in terms of usual development, some children on this programme may have had a bumpy start in life.
Their understanding of how to interact with others may be different from that of other children. We will need to recognise this and be patient in our expectations, but also practice. The key person role is critical here as children may need a secure and consistent starting point from which they can gradually form other relationships.
SKILLS FOR PRACTICE - SUPPORTING SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
Recognise and avoid interfering when there are moments of spontaneous sociability between children
- Take time as a key person to be playful with two or three children so that they can enjoy being together
- Use distraction as a tool when children are fighting over materials
- Watch out for tired children as they may not cope in social situations
- Think about what is available for children to focus on together
- Recognise when older children need a break from younger ones.
OBSERVATION MATTERS - SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
It is important to observe individual children's social development as this is an important developmental area. Things to consider when observing children might include:
- How aware is the child of others? (For example, is there eye contact or onlooker play?)
- How often and in what situations does the child initiate contact with other children?
- How does the child respond to the attentions of another child?
- Does the child imitate the play of other children?
- What type of play and activities seem to prompt the child to interact with others?
- Are there any children with whom the child seeks/avoids contact?
- Does the child show some pro-social behaviours? (For example, do they pass objects to another child or comfort a child who is distressed?)
Photographs at Towerfield Tots Day Nursery, Plymouth by Apex.