Every nursery I have ever visited prides itself on working in partnership with parents. When a very young baby starts at our nursery, we work hard to ensure we follow the routine that the parents have set for the baby while at home. It's important for parents' wishes to be respected and for us to mirror home routines.
Recently, we had a parent who had tried to adopt a particularly strict routine for her baby in an attempt to encourage a settled routine before he started nursery. The child had to eat at very specific times, then sleep for a certain period in a completely darkened room. He could be cuddled for five minutes before sleeping, but no more. We were told that if he cried, he was not to be picked up. Regardless of how long he slept, he had to be woken after being in his cot for one hour.
While I agree that routines are vital for young children, it was really difficult to follow such a harsh routine while in nursery.
The first problem was trying to provide a hot lunch for this child at the time specified. In our nursery, we cater for 67 children. It was impossible for the cook to prepare the food half an hour earlier for one particular child and leave 66 dinners to go cold.
Another problem was the parent's request that the child was in complete darkness. As we couldn't completely black out the room, the parent asked us to cover the top of the travel cot with a dark blanket, so the child would be in darkness. As it was the height of summer, I didn't think that this would be the best thing for the child.
Another issue was allowing the child to cry without comforting him. In a new environment, the child was clearly distressed and needed reassurance. In addition to this, the crying would disturb the other children.
After the child's first week, it became apparent that as much as we want to work with parents, this routine was too regimented. Clearly, we were not going to be able to incorporate it into the nursery day without it having a significant impact on the other children in that room.
We asked the child's mother to come in and watch how the other children were put to sleep (the calm atmosphere, the soothing music, dim lighting) and see if she would consider letting us try this with her son. I think that coming into the nursery helped her understand better how her routines could be adapted around the nursery for the benefit of her child.