A thoughtful strategy will help practitioners keep incidents of biting under control, writes Jennie Lindon.

Experimental biting is relatively frequent with under-twos and not a sign of serious underlying problems. It is quite usual for children aged 16 to 30 months to express their emotion by biting others at some point, often because they lack the words to articulate their feelings.

It is unwise to dismiss attempts to bite as an age-related 'phase', however. Only a minority of young children develop a persistent biting habit, or start this pattern from the ages of three to five years. Children with learning disabilities may behave in ways typical of a younger child.

DEALiNG WITH INCIDENTS

The best response to a child's initial attempts to bite has much in common with the strategy that you should use if a child persists in biting.

  • - React promptly, saying 'No biting', and hold the child if you have been able to intervene in time to prevent the bite.
  • - Look serious, rather than angry or fierce. Keep your voice calm and kindly. Avoid joining in with any laughter, or else they will believe biting is an acceptable game.
  • - Add the simple message, 'Ouch, that hurts' or 'You hurt Asha'. Avoid lengthy explanations of how and why biting is wrong. Younger children will not understand, and older children will stop listening.
  • - Comfort the person who has been hurt, perhaps stroking the area that was bitten - do this to your own arm if the child bit you. With over-threes, invite the child who inflicted the hurt to consider, 'How could you make things better?' This is a more effective response than insisting a child says sorry.
  • - Assess the situation; you do not necessarily have to remove the child from the flow of play because they have bitten. Was it a fraught situation in which several children behaved less than well? Have fierce emotions calmed, and can you trust the child not to bite again? If not, then the child may need a short time to calm down before rejoining the play.
  • - Keep any 'time out' brief, remain 'friendly' and close by the child during this time, then continue with whatever you are doing together. Avoid creating such a drama that the child who bites, or the child who has been bitten, receives far more personal attention than when life is going smoothly.
  • - Be patient and prepared to respond calmly on every occasion. It will take time for a young child to fully understand the consequences of biting or other physical tactics, which, from their perspective, are successful in the heat of the moment.

LOOKING FOR PATTERNS

Biting really hurts, leaves visible marks and may break the skin. Children who develop a habit of biting are soon not welcome as a playmate. As with any unacceptable behaviour, responsible adults should take persistent biting seriously. However, some parents and practitioners react out of all proportion to the injury caused.

Perhaps it is the wildness of biting when a young child loses control that unsettles adults. It is a very basic response which shows that for this child, at this time, some raw emotions are involved.

Children over three do occasionally bite each other, but persistent biting by a child in this age group indicates they are responding to problems of some kind.

Approach instances of persistent biting with the same care as you would any other habit of behaviour that you wish to discourage and stop. During your observations, ask yourself: when do the incidents of biting happen, and what are the pointers to helping the child? For example:

  • - The most likely flashpoint for Jake (nearly three) biting is a physical tussle over a toy. You may find that while Jake is the only child to bite, he is not alone in struggling with turn-taking. Are adult expectations - and the resources for this room - developmentally unrealistic?
  • - Damian (three years) bites during some routines. You may find that he struggles with the routines because he quickly runs out of words when speaking. How can you extend his limited language skills generally and at these specific times?
  • - The first signs that Amy (four years) is about to lose control - not least the look on her face - are evident when she arrives in the morning. Her family is in turmoil, which explains her distress, yet it is not an excuse for biting. In calm periods, can you give her the time and help with the words to express her feelings of confusion?

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD?

Even with the experimental biting of a very young child, practitioners need to be alert to the pattern of what is happening. The key person should get to know the child involved as an individual. Does the child see biting as a physical game? If so, model an action that could form part of a game, like gentle taps that will not hurt. If the child sees the mouthing and biting as a way of showing affection, then show them how to cuddle or touch noses gently. Children who are cutting teeth may be looking for something to chew on.

Young children continue with patterns of behaviour that, from their perspective, are successful. You want them to stop using biting as the solution to annoying situations or overwhelming emotions. But to achieve this, you need to offer an alternative and be encouraging when children make even brief efforts towards a better choice in times of trouble. Be realistic; even five-year-olds have a limited ability to stop themselves once the emotional temperature has soared.

Familiar adults need to model the ways and words that you use when children bite, rather than trying to resolve the problem through physical means. Very young children may not have learned how to say 'It's mine' or 'I want a go', so they regain control of a situation by sinking in their teeth.

Older children may need to be helped with expressing their feelings so they can say for themselves, 'I'm so cross!', rather than feel better by biting.

The right words are important. You do not want an atmosphere in which children think it is acceptable to retaliate physically. But you need to help with the alternative, such as giving children the confidence to announce, 'That's horrid and it hurts!' or 'Don't do that!' They also need to feel confident to ask, or call, for help.

DEALING WITH THE FAMILY

As with any significant incident, the key person needs to talk with the parents of the child who has been bitten and of the child who did the biting.

  • - Explain what happened and how the situation was dealt with. Do not reveal the name of the other child involved, to avoid confrontations between families.
  • - The family of the hurt child needs to feel confident you are managing the situation well and will protect their child to the best of your ability.
  • - Arrange confidential conversations with the parents of the biting child. Share the approach you are taking and any progress that you have made in enabling their child to find alternatives to biting.

MORE INFORMATION

  • Jennie Lindon (2009), Guiding the Behaviour of Children and Young People: Linking theory and practice 0-18 years. Hodder Education

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Practice Child Development Behaviour Positive Relationships Working with parents Personal social and emotional