Strategies to engage the third partner in the key person approach - the parent - as a child enters and settles in to nursery are explained in our continuing series on key caring by Anne O'Connor

The key person 'should help the baby or child to become familiar with the provision and to feel confident and safe within it, developing a genuine bond with the child (and the child's parents) and offering a settled, close relationship,' says the Statutory Framework for the EYFS, p37.

TRIANGLE OF RELATIONSHIPS

The bond with a child's parents is just as important to the key person approach as the relationship with the child. This triangle of relationships, between the key carers, the child and their parents, is what makes the approach so effective. But it's not easy.

It takes time and effort to build and maintain true reciprocal relationships, and there are many challenges to be overcome along the way.

Sometimes this is as much about a shift in thinking and mindset as it is about the practical and emotional difficulties involved. Although 'partnership with parents' has been advocated for a long time, it often doesn't translate into meaningful practice.

There can be added complications in the private sector, where parents are also 'customers' and where commercial pressures can impact on the time and flexibility allowed for settling and relationship building.

Rather than being something that gets in the way of business, however, a nurturing, key caring approach, with home visits and flexible settling procedures, should be seen as a major selling point and an important factor in customer satisfaction. Let's not forget that the children are 'customers' too!

HOME VISITS

Home visits are obviously a great way to begin the process, but they must be handled very sensitively to make sure that the relationship gets off to a good start.

- Reassure parents that the visit is voluntary and that other arrangements can be made for those who do not wish to be seen at home.

- Two people should visit, at least one of whom should be a key carer for the child. One adult should focus on the child, while the other chats with the parent/s.

- Don't overwhelm parents with too much information. Stick to a few significant points at this stage and allow plenty of time to chat about the child and their needs and motivations.

- Although the purpose of a home visit is not to make judgments about a child's home and family background, it is a wonderful opportunity to begin to understand the context of the child's life, and to tune in to what is important to them.

PARENT CONCERNS

You will need to explain how the key person approach works, and respond sensitively to parents' anxieties and concerns.

- Remember that you will probably have to revisit these concerns again over time, in order to build and maintain their confidence in the approach.

- Reassure parents that their child will not become attached to their key carers at the expense of their attachments to parents and family members.

- Explain the 'triangle of relationships' to parents and the importance you place on their involvement.

- Inform them of the systems of supervision and review which need to be in place, to ensure that managers guide and support key carers in the professional aspects of the approach.

- Tell them about the procedures for handover routines and other strategies (for example, photos, videos, written observations, link books, regular meetings and reviews) that will make sure that they are kept up to date, not just about their child's progress, but also their daily well-being and significant moments.

SEPARATION TIME

Separating from their children is always a big concern for parents, though they might have different ways of showing it.

- Whether or not parents display obvious distress, or they appear over-casual and uninterested, these are all valid ways of coping with the difficult act of parting. Inevitably, the child will absorb these emotions from their parents too.

- A fundamental feature of the key person approach is that it helps both parents and children to manage these feelings, by acknowledging and validating the emotions as well as providing thoughtful and personalised ways of handling the separation. This can't be done in a 'one size fits all' kind of way; it is the personal touch that makes all the difference, not just to the settling experience itself, but also to the confidence that the parents have about their choice of setting.

PAIRED AND SHARED CARING

Paired and shared key caring has obvious advantages in building relationships with parents.

- Sally Thomas suggests that key carer partnerships should match young practitioners with more experienced, possibly older partners. Although both will have an equal share in responsibility for a child, this kind of pairing can provide the parent with the option to confide in someone closer to them in age, if desired.

- Paired and shared key caring increases the likelihood of a key carer being available to parents at both ends of the day, as well as reducing the impact of staff leaving or continued absence.

OTHER STRATEGIES

Other strategies that support the involvement of parents and families in the key person approach include:

- Provide quiet, private spaces for confidential chats.

- Make sure that waiting areas are comfortable and welcoming, but also think about other aspects of your environment, organisation and communication routines that affect how welcome parents feel in your setting.

- Make sure that families know their home languages are valued and that they are seen and heard around the setting.

- Provide a pleasant space where parents can spend time comfortably in the early stages of settling in, when they might leave the child only for a brief time. Provide drinks, music, reading material and so on to help soothe anxious nerves!

- Have an inexpensive digital camera available to loan to families so that they can help make a photo album for each child, with images of family members and familiar things. Show parents how you use these to help reassure the child and keep their family and home life in mind, while they are away from them.

- Similarly, invite families to contribute to a child's records with photos, drawings and comments from home.

- Think carefully about the comments you make to reassure parents. 'She missed you but settled well after a few minutes' is more comforting than 'She was fine the minute you left.'

- Likewise, 'He did some painting and he ate up all his dinner' ceases to be helpful if heard every day. Use your observations to share significant moments and experiences that you know will help the parent to feel involved in their child's day.

- Ask existing parents to help compile a booklet or video explaining how the key person approach works in your setting. They are well placed to know exactly what other parents are likely to be anxious about!

Part 4 of this series will appear in Nursery World on 12 June

REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING

- Working with Parents, Margy Whalley/The Pen Green Centre Team

- Sally Thomas (Feb 2008) 'Nurturing Babies and Children Under Four' (DVD and Resource Pack). Heinemann

- Peter Elfer, Elinor Goldschmeid, Dorothy Selleck (2003) Key Persons in the Nursery: Building Relationships for Quality Provision. David Fulton

- Elinor Goldschmeid and Sonia Jackson (1994) People Under Three - Young children in daycare. Routledge

- Early Years Foundation Stage CD-Rom, DSCF

- Siren Films, 'Life at Two - Attachments, Key people and Development (plus user notes), www.sirenfilms.co.uk

- 'Implementing the Early Years Foundation Stage', Set 1, leaflet 2 on the Key Person and Interactions, by Early Education, www.early-education.org.uk

- Nursery World's series on Attachment appeared in 11 October, 8 November, 13 December 2007, 10 January, 14 February 2008

LINKS TO EYFS GUIDANCE

- UC 1.1 Child Development

- PR 2.4 Key Person

- EE 3.2 Supporting Every Child.