At first sight, the comedian Jack Dee might not appear to be the most useful starting point for considering effective communication with families. However, a sketch of his that I saw recently during an episode of 'Live at the Apollo' had much to teach everyone about the reality of being a parent of a child in the early years.
Briefly, Dee describes the pressures that parents face as soon as their child starts nursery, likening it to 'having another child that you have to keep happy'. He tells the story of discovering a note from the nursery, late at night, requiring his child to dress as an insect the following day. He describes his frantic attempts to produce something suitable, only to turn up at the nursery the following morning to find that one mother has created a costume for her daughter that enables her to fly and produce honey! (His own child, incidentally, is in a yellow T-shirt wound around with black tape, trying to figure out why she's dressed as a bee.)
As with all observational comedy, much of the humour relies on a certain level of exaggeration. However, there are also some powerful elements of truth. Dee describes the flurry of requests that are sent from nursery to home: 'Can you collect this, send in that, make such and such, get them a ...' and how hard it can be to keep up with it all to an acceptable standard.
The sketch certainly made me reflect on some of the requests that I had made as a teacher, and that had been made of me as a parent. We need to make sure that our demands are at least realistic, and at best the most meaningful that they can be!
It also made me think about the reasons for which we communicate with families and, more importantly perhaps, how we encourage families to communicate with us. There can be no doubt that we need to share information, ask for support and make our expectations clear. But surely the main reason for any form of communication between home and the setting is to make the children's experience the best that it can possibly be.
Families also need to know that information collected will be used to support best practice, not merely stored, as if in a museum. Information about family's interests, if gathered at all, needs to be reflected in provision, not disregarded because it does not fit with the current theme.
EARS AND EYES
Consider, too, how this information about life outside the education system is gathered. Think about not only the formal structures and routines that we may put in place for information gathering, but also the way that if we open our eyes and ears to it, information is being handed freely to us on a daily basis.
We may begin with home visits, or requesting information as a child enters our setting for the first time. But we need to contemplate how we see this as a beginning of the communication process, rather than an end in itself. Every day young children bring in cherished items from home; a small toy, a birthday card or even the clothes they wear all serve to tell us something about them, if only we would let it.
We need to value this as an opportunity to take children's fantasies, dreams and hopes seriously, rather than seeming not to have noticed them - or worse, telling children not to talk about such things. As adults, we are privileged to be able to keep aspects of our home lives with us all the time (mobile phones being a prime example!). Young children need to be allowed to do the same.
Showing an interest in how a family's favourite team performed at the weekend, or acknowledging a child's excitement at an upcoming family celebration, are actions that speak louder than any amount of formal form-filling.
However, I think that we need to consider the context in which such news is received and ensure the flow of information is two-way. I also think families need to know that we like them all, unconditionally. A feeling of being liked and a sense of belonging are important if families are to feel confident to share information with us, and to feel positively towards us. They need to know that they are not a nuisance, and that we will give information repeatedly, not judging those who appear to have mislaid the all-important note, or who have committed some other minor misdemeanour.
While it is clearly desirable to involve parents in the education of their child, it might be useful to reflect on the way that we go about doing this. In my view, the best communication begins with getting to know people well enough to understand them and to respect and attempt to understand their view of the world, if not necessarily agreeing with it.
Face-to-face contact at the beginning and end of a session should be a key part of any policy on communicating with families. Mostly, it's an informal time, with the opportunity to glean snatches of information such as 'Her Nan's coming round tonight and she's really excited' or 'We were all up a bit late last night, sorry!'
Tucking these snippets away for later use is an important part of helping that child to make the most of their day with us, showing us their preoccupations and helping us to understand their behaviour.
SHARING SUCCESS
These times should also be an opportunity to share successes with parents. 'Come and look at the painting he did yesterday ...' or 'Jack, did you tell your Dad about the fantastic junk model that you made yesterday?' are more than just casual remarks. They build self-esteem and a feeling of being valued. It should also go without saying that such comments are powerful statements about the kinds of achievements valued in the early years setting, which are not always those carried out in books or on a piece of paper.
Finally, to return to Jack Dee - he closes the sketch by describing how addicted he became to doing his child's homework, due to the positive praise he was receiving. There seems to be a message here. Perhaps we need to consider the way that we support parents and families through positivity and the building of self-esteem, just as we would for the children in our care, and, rather than highlighting and magnifying their weaknesses, work to ensure that we build on the strengths that all people have.
Jack Dee's performance can be viewed at: http://video.uk.msn.com/watch/video/jack-dee/12gk3ud9p. It does contain strong language
CASE STUDY
A little girl in a nursery showed a passionate interest in all things pink. Because of this, the nursery worker had created a Storybox for her, that had a pink theme. (A Storybox is a shoebox that has been adapted to contain a small world in which a story can take place.)
It contained a collection of pink items and was lined with pink fabrics. In the setting, the child played with the box frequently and chose a pink pen from the graphics area to record her story on paper, using a range of marks.
The nursery worker then offered the child the opportunity to take the box home and tell her family the story. Her father agreed to take the box home and record any story that she told. He did this by writing it all down and bringing it into school. Involving the parents in this way gave the setting a more accurate picture of the child's understanding of and ability to tell stories.
THINK ABOUT ...
- How the information gathered about the children was used to plan experiences around this little girl's interests
- How the family was involved effectively
- What this this example communicates to parents
- How might it help to build positive relationships
POINTS TO CONSIDER
- Reflect upon the balance of information sharing.
- Are parents able to give you as much information as they receive?
- Where does the exchange of information take place?
- Do you consider asking parents what information they feel they most need?
- How do you use the information given? Who decides what information is valuable?
- How much of the information that you send involves celebrating successes of all kinds?