Ask the expert

Q. We have had two bereavements in quick succession within families who attend our nursery. One boy was very distressed when his grandfather died.

His friends in nursery were supportive and we used stories and puppets to help with expressing feelings of sadness. Now another family has lost their baby at six months of age. This family is closely involved with the nursery and some children have taken the loss very hard. They had got to know the baby and now she is never coming back. We are finding it difficult to deal with some of their questions.

A. It sounds as if you are sensitive to dealing with children's feelings of sadness and missing loved ones. Do you need to reflect as a team on what is making the loss of the baby more difficult - perhaps your feelings of empathy with the family? Within reason, you can share your emotions with the children when they ask about the baby, say that you are sad and miss her as well. Since the family is closely involved with the nursery, you could consider whether you and the children should send a message of condolence, perhaps with pictures.