Case in point

Pippa is a nanny who came to work for her current family soon after the birth of Megan, a sister for four-year-old Theo. It seems to Pippa that Theo is thrilled with Megan and very much wants to help in her daily care. Theo hovers by the edge of the changing mat or baby bath, gazing at Megan. He shows delight in saying, 'I made her smile. Look, baby Megan's smiling at me!' However, Theo's parents seem not to notice. They make remarks like 'Be gentle with the baby' when Theo is not in fact being rough. They say, 'Don't push the truck at her', when Theo is just showing his sister his favourite toy. Theo's mother has said to Pippa, within his hearing, 'It's a shame I didn't have my children the other way round. An older sister would have been a real help. Girls are such little Mums, aren't they?' Pippa is concerned that Theo's genuine desire to help is being overlooked because he is a boy. She looks for opportunities to bring him safely into the babycare and to make discreet suggestions to his parents. Pippa talks with Theo about what she is doing for Megan, inviting him to make gentle splashes in the water at bathtime and to choose clean clothes for his baby sister.