Kids and Co: winning business tactics for every family
By Ros Jay (White Ladder Press, 6.99, 01803 813343)
Reviewed by Jennie Lindon, early years consultant
There are some sound ideas in this book. Parents, and possibly practitioners, will find helpful advice for the ups and downs of relationships with children and young teenagers. It is true that many of the communication and negotiation skills needed in adult working life are also relevant, with some adjustments, for family or group life.
It took me a while to identify what left me dissatisfied with this book. I wanted greater recognition that parents have a vital emotional dimension to the relationship with their children. Those feelings can complicate putting the more sensible skills to work. The relationship needs to offset any sense of using 'techniques' on your family. Mutual affection will reduce the chance that older children and teenagers simply use the techniques back on you, as would a client in a business relationship.
The cover blurb says, 'Treat your children like customers, like employees, like colleagues'. My reaction is - No! Please don't do that! Ros Jay's text is more thoughtful and useful than the blurb suggests. But the relationship with your children should be different from that with adults in your working life. You do not (usually) love your clients or colleagues. They do not (hopefully) throw up over your blouse or wipe jam in your hair. Parents have to find the patience and understanding to build a loving basis through the 'sick-and-jam' early years. Then, emotionally secure children will have developed the communication skills needed for the advice in this book to have a chance of working in family life.