The sight of a young child refusing to let go of a toy that is wanted by another, then bursting into angry tears - or worse, hitting the other child when entreated to 'share' - is so common in a nursery setting as to be unremarkable. But it is reflective of a central dilemma in early childhood development, and indeed throughout life. This dilemma has to do with being 'me' - an individual just acquiring a sense of 'who I am', while at the same time learning to be in a group.
We all live in groups most of the time, beginning with the family that we are born into. The tension between 'me' and wanting 'my' interests to prevail, and 'them' whose interests threaten 'my' satisfaction, is manifestly a life-long phenomenon. We all resolve it to a greater or lesser extent: one only has to observe the tensions among staff groups in nurseries, or any other workplace, to know just how difficult it is. For very young children it can be really hard!
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