Are early years practitioners too quick to label boys' behaviour as a problem? Jennie Lindon says we need to think about the ways we impose adult expectations
Imagine you are listening into adult conversation in a nursery. What would you guess is the sex of the children described in the following comments?
- 'It's worrying, A is so sensitive.'
- 'B won't settle to anything; the only thing that matters is getting outside.'
- 'C is so helpful, always ready to be caring with the little ones.'
- 'D has hardly any pretend play; it's just cars all the time.'
You may say the children might be boys or girls and, of course they could. But if we are honest:
- Child A is more likely to be a boy. The general assumption is that boys are tougher, so a little boy who shows his 'softer' emotions is seen as out of the ordinary and some adults worry that he will have problems.
- Child B is probably a boy and this kind of comment raises important issues about all children's early years experience. What has happened to a well-rounded curriculum if adults are fairly sure that settling to play in the garden does not count?
- It will often be assumed that child C is a girl, because little girls are so ready to help, aren't they? But, as many practitioners know well, in an encouraging setting boys can be considerate and competent helpers.
- Child D is probably a boy and the nature of these words raises an important practice issue. Is there a strong possibility, given the overwhelmingly female early years workforce, that an inappropriate hierarchy of 'proper pretend play' has been established?
It is possible that the behaviour of children A, B and D could be seen as a problem, when the real issues are more about adult expectations and sometimes the organisation of a nursery. The assumptions underpinning the example of child C could mean that boys are dissuaded from offering to help. Perhaps adult words and subtle body language show that girls are the natural helpers.
Good practice in early years has to include a willingness to reflect on what happens day by day in your own early years setting. Perhaps with the best of intentions, we have created an imbalance that risks putting the boys at a disadvantage. Then it is our adult responsibility to reconsider. To say we need to take a fresh look at the boys' experience is not blaming early years teams for 'getting it all wrong'. There are some understandable reasons how the situation may have been created. But we cannot allow a situation to continue in which ordinary boys are seen as a source of behaviour problems.
One source of imbalance is that early years practitioners have been encouraged by some childcare courses and textbooks to ignore the differences between boys and girls and focus on the similarities. There are, of course, many common interests between individual boys and girls, and a great deal of variation within each gender. But are there also some broad differences between a lot of boys and their female peers?
- Informal observation of nurseries tends to show that boys' play is often more physically lively. Their more energetic games may need more space.
- What happens to boys' sense of self- worth if they are regularly told to be 'quiet', 'calm down', or to stop certain games? Perhaps boys' behaviour is not really the problem; adult over-supervision of play and limited access to the outside may be to blame.
- Boys seem to be more enthused than many girls for pretend play that features monsters and struggles between good and evil that require some level of weaponry. Adults have a responsibility to discourage hostile behaviour. But is it really aggressive to want to zap pretend monsters?
- What happens to boys' powers of imagination and negotiation skills, if the adult reaction is to ban their favourite games, rather than properly observe their rich pretend play?
Some boys are on average later in developing their skills of communication and attention than their female peers. But again, what may be seen as a problem with the boys can highlight issues of good practice for all children.
- Boys, and the more energetic girls, will find it hard to express their views, if their opportunities are limited to adult-driven question and answer exchanges or group time. Early years practitioners often find that boys are keen to chat when adults show genuine interest in what absorbs them: their pretend play and favourite books.
- Young children need to have opportunities for movement. Also, physical activity refreshes and supports intellectual activity. It may be the boys who fidget first, but all young children need physical breaks or their concentration will be undermined. In over-controlled settings, some children - probably more boys than girls - risk being labelled as ADHD, when the problem rests with the activity and not with the children themselves.
Girls too
Looking closely at the experiences of the boys, especially those whom you are tempted to consider a problem, does not mean that you ignore the girls. Early years teams who have taken a positive approach to boys' behaviour have often identified shifts in good practice that benefit all the children.
- Perhaps it is often the boys who burst through the doors into the garden when their outdoor play is time-limited. But we want girls to develop physical skills and confidence too. Girls benefit when outdoor as well as indoor learning is valued.
- A new male practitioner is often surrounded by little boys who want energetic physical play. The fact that the arrival of a man enthuses the boys, and some girls, should make us wonder about the previous gap in their play experience. It is important that mainly female teams should not think about how to stop this play. There may be discussions about where and how and, of course, you do not want a male colleague to become restricted to certain types of play activity.
- An open-minded approach to pretend play themes can enrich girls' play as well as avoid the situation where boys feel they have to become secretive in order to pursue their imagination. Girls are far less likely to engage in livelier games if they observe that this behaviour gets the boys into trouble.
- Boys may be seen as more of a problem because they don't want to do worksheets or similar activities. But should we be pleased that some girls are willing to sit quietly at the table tracing out letters at four years old?
Good for all
It is often the boys whose behaviour disrupts circle time. But it is only because so many of our young children now attend nurseries that we expect them to cope with group sessions. Experienced practitioners do engage three- to five-year-olds in a group story or song session, but we should remember that this kind of concentration takes effort for children and can become effectively impossible when groups get larger.
The boys who fidget or cannot resist calling out (because what they want to say is so interesting) are the tip of an iceberg that needs exploration. Some early years settings have someone available in the book corner or to chat informally. They often find that the more energetic children, girls as well as boys, really enjoy stories and conversation, when they do not have to share the adult with all the other children in a large group.