News

Living in fear

Children become the victims, directly or indirectly, of violence by their parents in the home. Mary Evans looks at what early years practitioners can do in a tense family situation

Two women in England and Wales will be killed this week by their current or former partners, while in the time it takes you to read this article, ten calls reporting domestic violence will have been made to police across the UK.

Those desperate pleas for help represent just a fraction of the problem. According to the national domestic violence charity Refuge, on average a woman is beaten 35 times before her first call to the police.

The statistics describing domestic violence in the UK make chilling reading: one woman in nine is severely beaten by her male partner each year. In 35 per cent of households where a first assault has occurred, the second will occur within five weeks and the violence usually escalates in severity and frequency over time to about two attacks per woman, per week. Every minute of the day, police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call. Every year in England and Wales, around 63,000 women and children spend at least one night in a refuge.

The most common assault pattern is for a man to attack a woman. The British Crime Survey for 2001-2002, published by the Home Office, found that of the 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales, 81 per cent of victims were women and 19 per cent were men.

'Anyone can be abused,' says Refuge chief executive Sandra Horley. 'Domestic violence is not confined to working class or so-called problem families. It happens in urban and rural communities, in high-rise estates and middle-class suburbs, in white and ethnic minority families.

'She might be any of the women you have come into contact with: your sister, your daughter, your mother, your friend, your colleague, your neighbour.'

It has a huge toll in human and financial terms. Professor Elizabeth Stanko of the Violence Research Programme at Royal Holloway College, London University, estimated the costs of services for women and children facing domestic violence in Greater London in 1996 to be 276 million a year. Refuge says the cost of domestic violence to health and social services in the UK runs to over 1bn a year.

Children under stress

The impact on children living with domestic violence, too, is enormous. The 1992 British Crime Survey found that in 90 per cent of domestic violence incidents, children were in the same or the next room.

'Women stay in violent relationships for reasons ranging from love to terror,' says Theresa Parker of the charity Women's Aid. There are also practical reasons - fear of becoming homeless; fear of repercussions; fear of losing their children; fear of poverty and isolation.

Some research studies suggest that women often attribute their eventual escape to emotional and practical support received from their children. Indeed, Theresa Parker says children of all ages call the police for help.

'When women and children escape to safety they are deeply traumatised and often suffer post-traumatic stress,' says Sandra Horley. 'Children show different responses to abuse in the home. One might respond by becoming violent, another might reject violence altogether. However, all children in abusive homes are living under stress. Symptoms of stress can include problems in school, nightmares, anxiety and fear of abandonment.'

Refuge runs a pioneering psychology programme for children. 'Psychologists work with these children, unlocking each child's suffering to help them overcome the effects of abuse. But there is no reason why a child who has experienced domestic violence will necessarily become either a perpetrator or a victim.

'However, research shows that one in five boys think it's OK to hit a woman. This doesn't mean that these boys have experienced domestic violence. Sadly, there are still countless ways where society has taught them that domestic violence is not a serious crime.'

An innovative programme run by the NSPCC in South Wales since1996 works with women and children affected by domestic violence as well as the abusers themselves. Kevin Gibbs, NSPCC area children's service manager for south and east Wales, says information is shared across the constituent groups with great effect. While women and children learn not to blame themselves, the men learn to recognise that their behaviour was problematic.

Legal changes

The Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Bill due to become law later this year is the biggest overhaul of the domestic violence laws in 30 years. It gives the police and courts new powers to protect victims and prosecute abusers (see box). It does not apply to Scotland, where the Protection from Abuse Act (Scotland) already gives victims of domestic violence the protection of being able to apply for an interdict, backed by power of arrest, to order their abusers to stay away.

But campaigners say the laws should be strengthened across the UK to prevent courts from granting violent parents unsupervised contact with children or residence, unless the child wants to have contact and it can be safely arranged.

'This is the issue on which we get the most calls,' says Heather Coady, national children's rights officer for Scottish Women's Aid. 'We have a situation where you can get the protection of an interdict, with the power of arrest, so the abuser is not allowed anywhere near your house, but at the same time there can be a contact order allowing him to come for the children.'

Chris Atkinson, policy advisor for the NSPCC, says, 'Urgent action is required to address the risk children are being placed in when the courts grant unsupervised contact with a parent who is violent. It is vital that family court professionals recognise this danger instead of assuming that parental contact is almost always in the best interests of the child.'

Role for childcarers

What can childcare practitioners do to support children facing domestic violence? Sandra Horley says, 'It is essential to tell children that the abuse and the problems in the family are not their fault. Practitioners should encourage children to discuss their feelings and respond to them with respect and understanding. Children in violent homes are under enormous pressure. They may bottle up their feelings and this can lead to guilt, anger and anxiety.

Developing a child's self-esteem is a powerful armoury against the destructive effects of living in a violent home.

'Practitioners should teach children that violence is a crime and that there are healthier ways of dealing with conflict. Practitioners can play a vital role in helping children keep safe. Teach them that they should not intervene personally because it is dangerous, and that they are not responsible for protecting their mother - but that it's OK to get help.

'Practitioners also need to empower the mother and take a non-judgemental approach, otherwise the mother may be alienated and feel ashamed. All childcare practitioners should have domestic violence training to ensure consistency of approach.

'Settings should also develop domestic violence policies and carry literature and posters for women who might want to write down the number of a helpline discreetly or take some literature away with them.'

She adds, 'Practitioners must recognise the danger of giving prescriptive advice. There are many options available and every woman's experience is different. Women are at their most vulnerable when leaving an abusive partner.

This is the time when most homicides occur. So advice that suggests leaving him could actually cost women, and possibly their children, their lives.'