Of the 1,015 women who had given birth in the last five years that responded to the survey, more than 1 in 10 (11.5 per cent) said they had struggled to bond with their baby after birth.
Over 70 per cent said they had not been given information and advice from health and care professionals on bonding with their baby throughout pregnancy, despite this being a recommendation of the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE).
The survey was carried out to mark Infant Mental Health Awareness Week (12 June-18 June 2023), which aims to raise awareness of the importance of supporting parents who need help to bond with their baby.
'I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't instantly love my son'.
Over 80 per cent of women surveyed attended 5 or more antenatal appointments. Of these, 64 per cent said nobody talked to them about bonding, or building a relationship with baby, during their antenatal care. Sometimes bonding was discussed, but late: 15 per cent of women said bonding was only discussed after their baby was born.
Respondents said societal pressure to enjoy pregnancy, and assumptions that bonding would happen automatically, left them feeling ‘guilty and afraid’, when this didn’t happen.
One woman explained, ‘I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't instantly love my son, and everyone else says things like 'it’s the most magical time giving birth'…’
According to the Parent-Infant Foundation, factors that can affect bonding during pregnancy include the mother’s physical and mental health, the parental relationship and past trauma, such as baby loss.
One survey respondent said, ‘We had a number of losses before our rainbow baby, no one seemed to understand or even mention that it might be hard to think about building a relationship with our baby in case the worst happened again. It would have been helpful for that to be acknowledged…’
The Foundation is urging health and care staff who work with pregnant women and their partners routinely to provide information and support on bonding and relationships.
Research shows that a strong bond between a baby and its parent is ‘fundamental’ to emotional attachment and healthy child development.
'Checking on emotional wellbeing needs to become the norm'.
Tamora Langley, head of policy at the Parent-Infant Foundation said, ‘We understand staff are under huge time pressures, but checking on emotional wellbeing as well as physical wellbeing needs to become the norm.
‘With training, a wider range of professionals and practitioners should be able to have conversations about emotional attachment and bonding. Parents who are struggling may need specialist parent-infant relationship support, but they can only get that if they are confident to speak up in the first place. We must challenge the myth of the “perfect parent”’, so that pregnant women feel able to ask for help when they need it.’
The Royal College of Midwives chief executive, Gill Watson, said that ‘chronic staff shortages mean that midwives and maternity support workers don’t always have the time to deal with any postnatal mental health issues.’
She added, ‘A national strategy is needed urgently to recruit and train more midwives so that these vital areas of care become the norm across maternity services in the UK.’