Data published by the NSPCC reveals that from 1 April 2022 to 31 March 2023, its helpline responded to 4,412 contacts from adults whose main concern was domestic abuse.
A total of 1,359 contacts specifically mentioned coercive and controlling behaviour.
Over the same period, Childline delivered 1,096 counselling sessions with children and young people whose main concern was domestic abuse. In 221 sessions, children specially mentioned concerns about coercive and controlling behaviour.
Some adults contacting the NSPCC helpline talked about their children being quiet, stressed and depressed.
What is domestic abuse?
According to the NSPCC, ‘Domestic abuse is any type of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between people who are, who have been in a relationship, regardless of gender or sexuality.
‘It can also happen between adults who are related to one another and include physical, sexual, psychological, emotional or financial abuse. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone at any time.’
'I'm worried Anna's mental health is being affected'
A father who contacted the NSPCC’s helpline said, ‘I am worried about my three-year-old daughter, Anna. Her mother has subjected me to physical and emotional abuse throughout our relationship. On several occasions she has hit me and spat in my face.
‘Since we separated earlier in the year, she continues emotionally abusing me and controlling me. Anna’s mum has also been making threats, so that I will meet her demands around childcare.
‘If I don’t do things that she wants, exactly when she wants, like picking Anna up in my car at a moment’s notice, she will bombard me with threatening texts. She threatens to leave Anna by herself if I don’t get there quickly enough and once, she even threatened to hurt Anna if I didn’t get there in time.’
‘I’m worried that Anna’s mental health is being affected. I know she is sad that she isn’t having regular contact with me anymore and she is quieter than usual.’
The data, which is published in a new report – ‘The impact of coercive control on children and young people’, also highlights how services are missing early opportunities to support children and families experiencing domestic abuse.
In contacts to the NSPCC’s helpline, it was noted that sometimes it was difficult for professionals to recognise coercive and controlling behaviour or understand how difficult it can be for someone to leave an abusive situation.
Some parents contacting the helpline said that whenthey had talked to professionals about the abuse they were experiencing, they felt that the incidents were being ‘minimised’. These parents talked about feeling helpless, ignored, and not listened to.
Others has been told that their experiences ‘did not meet the threshold’ or that they could not be helped because they were describing ‘different parenting styles’.
'It is vital that everyone is aware of what coercive control can look like.'
Paddi Vint, development and quality manager for the Domestic Abuse Practice Advisor Team at the NSPCC Helpline, said, ‘It is worrying to know children are having to deal with coercive control, especially over the summer when they are away from teachers and other adults who often spot concerns and who they can turn to for support.
‘It is vital that everyone is aware of what coercive control can look like. This will mean that more of us can spot the signs that children and young people may be experiencing it and reach out with any concerns.
‘We will continue to press the Government to improve the support available for child victims of abuse including by increasing the supply of high-quality, specialist therapeutic and mental health support within local communities across the country.’
- If you're worried about a child who might be experiencing or witnessing domestic abuse please contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or help@nspcc.org.uk