Talking to 'Supernanny' Jo Frost can seem a bit like being on the receiving end of her techniques, like a child who's trying to distract nanny or get a rise out of mum. You can feel her using on you all those principles - firm and fair control; boundaries; consistency; compassion - that run through her new book and her hit television series. Afterwards, even without having dared to risk a trip to the 'naughty step', you realise that she's kept everything firmly on her terms.
Is 'Supernanny' a typical product of these reality-TV, expert-makeover times? Or is there really a crisis in parenting? Neither, Jo insists; such problems for parents have always been there, the same issues have been around constantly in her 15 years of nannying experience with all ages of children. 'And any advice that any childcarer can give is another insight, another level,' she says.
Her terms are to accentuate the positive. She's quick to point out how her TV series has given nannies a new respect. 'I'm doing good for nannies, good for children, good for parents - everybody wins!'
But the book's and the TV show's focus on discipline, boundaries, routines and consistency suggests that Jo's strongest appeal is to the parents who are floundering, who really do need a firm, level-headed nanny to sort them out. The book is a common-sense early years childcare manual that would be accessible to any family, but the families Jo deals with on TV admittedly have more serious behaviour problems than most; sorting them out does seem a super achievement.
Is there a chance, perhaps, that by going public she may have raised the bar a bit, and that parents will now expect every nanny to be a supernanny? Jo won't have it. 'Every nanny who's dedicated to their job will have a set standard and will be doing it anyway.
'I think my standard is normal. If other nannies say I'm setting it too high, they need to think about what they were delivering in the first place.'
That's not to say it's easy for anybody to do what she does, or to stick to her policy of honesty. Jo sympathises. 'I've met quite a few nannies who've told me "Thank you" for having the courage to sit down and tell parents what they felt they couldn't say for fear of losing their jobs.
'How many times have I spoken to nannies who wish they could just turn round and say to parents what I'm saying? I tell them: you can. Build a rapport with the family, show them that you're being objective - talk about it.
'The thing is to be honest and not have to pussyfoot around. For me it's to see what I see are the issues for those parents, and then work with them.'
Do parents ever want to put her in her place; do they say 'you're just a nanny, you're not a parent'? It's a question often thrown at her, Jo agrees, patiently. 'People do ask me if the mothers ever feel jealous. But I'm not here to speak on that situation. I provide a service, and compassion with it.
'We nannies are on the same side as the parents. But at the end of the day, I walk away. It's the parents who have to be consistent with their children.'
Jo is now busy filming a second series for Channel 4 which begins on 5 April, having returned from the US where she made a version of 'Supernanny'
for the ABC network. It had an 'amazing feedback', she says, 'because Americans love the idea of the British nanny' - indeed, Fox TV got in quick with a rival reality show using British nannies, called 'Nanny 911'. So is there any pressure on her to act up the role on camera?
Another firm position. 'I'm so focused on wanting to help these families, the cameras are irrelevant. I'm still talking after they're switched off.
You may see one discussion on the television, where I had six. My work doesn't stop when the cameras are off.
'At the end of the day, it's about information. The television provides information. The TV show helps one family, who will help millions.'
And it will help nannies in their quest for recognition. 'My own nanny friends are very supportive. They say "Good on you",' says Jo. 'And to think that a few years ago you couldn't get a mortgage if you were a nanny.
People wouldn't take your job seriously.'
It's been a busy year or so since Jo auditioned for the Supernanny part - 'Everything's been a whirlwind' - and now she's in negotiations with ABC for a second series in America as well. After that, she admits, she'll be ready for a break. Then what? Will she stay a nanny? Is that possible, after becoming an author and media star? She won't say; the answer, perhaps, is outside her boundaries.
HOW NANNIES SEE THE PICTURE
'Since the first series of "Supernanny", I've been overwhelmed with letters from people I've never met who have tried the techniques featured on the programme and wanted to tell me how things have turned around for them.
It's just wonderful to hear from them and get that positive feedback.
'Some of the letters point out that I'm not a parent. That's true. I'm not a paediatrician, either, or a child psychologist. I've had no formal training to do what I do. Which puts me in much the same position as most parents, without the intense emotional attachment (although us nannies have feelings too!).
'The big difference is that I've had many years of experience looking after all sorts of chldren at all stages and I'm not meeting these challenges for the first time. I've seen children through weaning and toilet training, teething, tantrums and the first day at school. Along the way I've observed behaviour, listened to other people talking about childcare issues and, most importantly, I've listened to my own gut instincts.
'Quite early on, I worked out that nannying isn't just about looking after kids and nursery duties. In some ways, you are the bridge between the child and the parent. It puts you in the unique position of observing how families work. It's a dynamic that constantly fascinates me - the way everything is linked and related. You can see this clearly in an objective position, without the tug on the heartstrings. The trouble is that when many parents find themselves in difficulties they're too emotionally involved to see the bigger picture.'
from Supernanny - How to Get the Best from Your Children by Jo Frost, published this month by Hodder & Stoughton at 14.99