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At the chalkface: Exodus

Whole-school issues
For many years we didn’t suffer this league table mania. Sixth forms were mixed ability, the syllabus open and thrilling and the pupils bright, sussed and electric.

Aydin Önaç, headmaster of St Olave’s Grammar School in Orpington, announced his arrival in 2010 by eating a baked tarantula in a school assembly.

“Since then he has made no secret of his ambition to build on the success at St Olave’s,” the Guardian informs us. A bit of cognitive dissonance? Whatever, the tarantula seemed to do the trick, his ambition has been realised. St Olave’s is top of all known league tables and gets blizzards of Oxbridge places. The teaching must be preternaturally brilliant. Mine must have been terrifically inferior.

What is St Olave’s magic formula? Tarantulas? Large arachnids? It seems not. It’s a rigged game.

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