Staff leaving speeches

The headteacher of 2012 is expected to be many things: strategist, leader, manager, accountant, disciplinarian, social worker – and for that peculiarly British teacher tradition of last day staff speeches, host, raconteur and compère!

This is a peculiar tradition; the gathering of the staffroom/class to say goodbye at the departure of colleagues, often from distant departments, those who you have acknowledged weekly over the coffee urn or on shared Monday night bus duty. For all concerned, the leaver’s speech is an interesting potentially uncomfortable experience.  

For those remaining, how do you say “heartfelt” goodbyes to Nick, who often prolonged staff meetings with repeated inane questions? For the departing, how do you remain magnanimous and witty and receive your book token with appropriate grace and appreciation?